LilySlim Exercise days tickers

LilySlim Exercise days tickers

Friday, March 9, 2012

I SURRENDER!!!

On this Friday night, I am allowing myself to take yet another night off from the challenge to just relax and hang with my other half just like my pre-challenge days. I must admit that this would have been quite hard to accept as I had such extreme expectations of how I was going to complete this challenge and wanted it to be perfect. For those of you who don't really know me, I have an extreme type A personality and should should seek professional help with OCD. Ask my sis, she would agree!!! So knowing that, perfection and/or expectations are not negotiable =D However, this challenge has literally beaten me up physically and mentally so much that I SURRENDER. The teacher's dialogue couldn't be more true, come to each class with no expectations as if it was your first. I am finally letting go and allowing my challenge to play out however it may. I am proud of what I've accomplished thus far and know that I will continue to make strides in my practice for the remaining of the challenge. Gotta say, it's nice to not feel guilty or bad about things not panning out as expected =)

Day 35: 6:30pm w/Jeff & 8:15pm w/Tom

Planned this doubles night and stuck to it. Set myself up in my favorite doubles spot near the double doors to the left of the podium. It was so nice to have Jen G. next to me and she even stayed with me to do a double. What a trooper!!!

Both classes was very strong and the temperature was perfect. Just the right amount of heat to keep me sweaty throughout both classes, but was nice to be cool down a bit during the floor series. Overall, another great doubles in my book!

Day 36: 8:15pm w/Val

I originally planned to attend the 6:30pm class, but my doctor's appointment ran much longer than expected so it was another late night. I was pretty cranky since I missed my normal earlier class and the wait at the doctor's pushed me off the edge =X. To top it off, not much was accomplished during my appointment. It's was yet another breast exam to confirm guess what!????....yep!!!....there's a lump there. NO SHIT!!!! Now it's back to more waiting for more approvals and more appointments. Oh joy! As you can tell, I was pretty irritated and was really dreading class. Guess my negative mindset really affected my practice :( This class has now became my worst class yet in this challenge. My mind and body was literally rejecting every posture no matter how much I focused. I am usually really disciplined with my water intake during class, but I just couldn't control myself and kept drinking. This made the floor series unbearable. I ended up staying in savasana the last 15-20 minutes =X O well, I shall be/feel better next class!!!

On a happier note, things are moving along in my quest to finally get a diagnosis even if it's at a snail pace in my opinion. However, guess it usually takes longer because the breast surgeon said I was pretty on top of this and moving along quickly. Also, looks like the doctor is requesting a needle biopsy so there is little to no recovery time. I may be pretty sore in the area, but at least I won't miss too many or no class at all. I am pretty confident that I'll be able to finish the challenge on schedule even if a few doubles are needed. Yay to that!!! =)

2 comments:

  1. Sara so proud of you. I know how hard it is as a fellow Type A/OCD personality to take a break but also how important it is for the body to recover. It still bothers me to see that missing star on my calendar... but it's important to surrender sometimes as you wrote. So proud of you for how strong you are mentally, emotionally and physically dealing with struggles both in and out of the studio. Stay strong girl! Always a pleasure to practice with you!

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